Anti-Uber Monkey Men VS. Batman (Twerpy Little Bitch Version)
I’d like to thank to Zack Snyder for turning Batman into a twerpy little bitch.
No seriously, what did we expect?
He hired Ben “Mallrats” Affleck to incarnate the Dark Knight, and long before this trailer was supposedly “leaked” (more on that in a second), set pics showed us that they were going back to the Michael Keaton-era Batsuit loaded with fake muscles.
Maybe we just got spoiled by the fact that Christian Bale actually hit the gym to get the body we’d expect from a superhero.
I personally will be sitting this movie out, especially with a line such as, “Tell me…do you bleed? You will!!”
Now about that “leaked” trailer:
Zack, we’re in 2015, not 2005. There’s no such thing as a “leaked” trailer anymore.
It’s really only a matter of time until the Oxford dictionary eventually defines the term”leaked” as “traffic generating smoke-show”.
So now that many superhero franchises have moved past their better days(Spiderman, Incredible Hulk), perhaps we should examine what could help future Marvel and DC franchises succeed.
I know – how about turning real-life heels into full-blown villains?
Close your eyes and imagine it now…thousands of unwashed, uneductated cabbies marching through the street of Anycity, USA waving their typo-ridden placards around demanding a competition-free environment where they can continue to deliver sub-standard, over-priced “service” without anyone eating into their pie.
Governments have no idea how to deal with this situation (always a great set-up for a super-hero movie) and before you know it, the teeming mass of plebes combines to form Taxitron.
No one gets a free ride in this post-meltdown ecconomy. If these taxi drivers want to keep their heads above water, here’s one idea.
I’ve been getting hilarious comments in public from the “They’re Happy Because They Eat Lard” shirt.
This has gotten me really excited about the next kick-ass tshirt design on that’s on the way.
About to release a killer new design that borrows from a very classic movie line. Inspiration: the old line of thinking that is pushing these Taxi drivers to hold on to the past just because they’re stubborn as well as those movie producers who stick to tried-and-true formulas.
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