DeadHeat

Scientists are (seriously) working to make The Walking Dead a reality

Remember the Movie DeadHeat? If the answer’s “no”, you’re forgiven. It was a B-movie, but a very good one and it starred two awesome dudes people seem to remember about as well as they do the move: Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo. TDLR: Treat Williams plays a cop who bites the big one while on duty. Too good to be left to the afterlife, a secret experiment see Williams re-animated and put back out on duty. Flash forward almost 30 years and it seems like…

When Infidelity Is Just Downright Hilarious

Infidelity: it leaves those scorned wondering where they must have gone wrong for their mates to have wandered to another’s bed (or McDonald’s bathroom). After the stinging bitterness sets in an odd thing happens (so long as you’re not involved in this mess): hilarity ensues. Here are three hilarious videos that show you the light side of getting caught doing the horizontal hokey-pokey. OK, so this is a commercial, but just leave it to the Brits to get things done right with their particular brand…

donald trump idiot

I knew Donald Trump Would Run A Year Ago…Because He Tried To Sue Me Over It

I knew for a fact that Donald Trump was running for president at this time last year. I became aware of this fact because he was trying to sue me over my ownership of the domain Trump2016.com. Just a little further below are links to the legal notice he sent me. It was a moment I both dreaded and anticipated at the same time. This piece is both an unofficial how-to when dealing with any lawsuits that infringe on trademarks (though speaking to a lawyer…

Big-Data-Dangerous-Video-New

Blood & Babes – it’s an easy sell

When I was a kid, I used to collect music videos on shitloads of VHS tapes. Yeah, I know. Anyhow, as I grew out of the MTV phase, my interest in music videos waned very quickly. Let’s face it. Most of these fucking things are vain exercises in blowing up some wanker’s razor-thin ego, promoting big-label liquor and teaching an entire generation of kids who are already hopeless mouth-breathers to become even bigger douchebags than they already are. Thank you music industry, thank you. Then…

Getting paid to love on BBWs (#nogiggolo)

So the other day, my editor asked me to write some copy for a BBW dating website. In the event that you’re not in the know, BBW stands for Big Beautiful Women. So I gets to ogle pics of hot plump babes and write the copy that will lure men with a yen for curvy lovelies to become members of a dating site. Wanna take a peek at my source material? OK. Here are a few of the hottest BBWs to inspire my copywriting: OK,…

hot redhead

Eve of Destruction

Tranny or not a tranny, that is the question. <<< Is this little number 100%…or a tranny? This past week, the LGBT celebrated itself and I took that opportunity to torture one of my co-workers. Tormenting someone for the sexual persuasion is rather distasteful conduct. However, tormenting someone based on their disgust over the sexual proclivities of others is clearly ok. My target was Nelson, and my goal was simple – to completely destabilize him until he could no longer appreciate the beauty of any…

walking dead

If you could write for The Walking Dead

I won’t drop any spoilers on you, but let it be known that I’m already writhing and shaking like a hopeless dope fiend. This past Sunday saw the mid-season finale of Walking Dead and once again we’re saddled with open loops that equal endless internet speculation. Now, THAT is the effect of tight writing. I’m not going to spend too much time on this today, but I’ll leave you with the one-two punch that makes the Walking Dead work. The Jab: the hardest part of…